Sunday, 26 March 2023

My hobbies

 Well, hobbies are perhaps not the right word, but we can come to that later.

I thought long and hard since coming out as Transgender, society tends to still think of certain hobbies as "Male or Female" hobbies such as sewing and dressmaking, if you announced in your local pub that "David, Jack or Simon's" hobby is making dresses I'm sure you will get a few remarks even today never mind just in the 1970s UK. 

But in reality, you can have any hobby you enjoy doing, a lady can love fast cars as much as a man can as well as fixing them. Motorcycle travel was once seen as mainly a male hobby, but now several very successful female motorcycle riders blog about their travels on two wheels, have a look at any of the following YouTube pages.

https://www.youtube.com/user/onherbike



https://www.youtube.com/c/ItchyBoots


Not forgetting Saffy who gets 2,045,064 viewers to her channel that can be found at https://www.youtube.com/@SaffySprocket



These three ladies travel further, longer and to more remote places than 95 per cent of male riders, ever do on two wheels. Saffy holds down a full-time job as well as filming her adventures. So being a keen motorcyclist isn't gender-based, If you like doing something just do it and don't worry. I personally sew and make various things to wear or use. I do DIY and that includes some quite ambitious jobs as well as still riding motorcycles, baking and creating some fantastic dishes that the family enjoy, so my advice is don't limit your hobbies as you will end up being quite unhappy with your life. I know from personal experience how it can go. when I first came out absolutely everything changed, I tried to be this new me, but I soon became sad and not my usual self, my children were the first to notice and spoke to my partner who confirmed their thoughts on their parent now appearing unhappy, despite transitioning and coming out. After my immediate family spoke to me about it, I thought about what might be making me sad... I realised that in my rush to be finally identifying as a female. I had actually given up some of the things I loved doing that made me happy as a person. So upon reading this, if you have stopped doing the hobbies or pastimes you enjoyed because you thought a man or woman would do that think again. If it's possible to be done, then anyone can do it.

PS I really do enjoy sewing and making items and now have 7-8 sewing machines I love fashion and also making some lovely bags that I use daily. I've made quilts for beds and quilted throws, recovered seats etc. 

One of my major passions is riding motorcycles either on-road or off-road, my latest purchase is a Royal Enfield Scram, that I've just saved up and bought, I guess I have lockdown to thank for not going out, so I was able to save some money towards a new bike. 

The Enfield is not the best bike ever made I guess, but it represents how one of the greatest Motorcycle manufacturers first produced British motorcycles, that were sold around the world and was lost due to various reasons to be reborn in India. They produced the 1950-styled Royal Enfield Bullet a 350 and 500cc motorcycle for many years, they are now producing motorcycles people want and exporting around the world once again.

 A short history of the company is below.

In November 1891, entrepreneurs Bob Walker Smith and Albert Eadie buy George Townsend & Co. of Hunt End, Redditch. Townsend’s is a well-respected needle manufacturer of almost 50 years standing which has recently begun manufacturing bicycles. The duo won a contract to supply precision parts to the Royal Small Arms Factory of Enfield, Middlesex. To celebrate this prestigious order, they rename they're undertaking the Enfield Manufacturing Company Ltd. and call their first Bob Walker Smith-designed bicycle, the Enfield. The following year, their bicycles are renamed Royal Enfields and the trademark ‘Made Like A Gun’ is introduced.

In 1901 the first Royal Enfield motorcycle is produced. Designed by Bob Walker Smith and Frenchman Jules Gobiet, it is launched at the Stanley Cycle Show in London. The 1 1/2 hp engine is mounted in front of the steering head and the rear wheel is driven by a long rawhide belt. 

In 1957 Johnny Brittain won the Scottish Six Days Trial on a Bullet for the second time and also finishes top of the British trials championship. The 250cc Crusader model is launched in Britain in 1957. Producing 13 bhp, the motorcycle features a unit construction engine and alternator electrics with coil ignition.

In 1967 with only two models left in production at the start of the year – the 250cc Continental GT and the 736cc Interceptor – Royal Enfield’s Redditch facility closes and the site sold to developers. Production of the Interceptor continues at Enfield’s underground facility at Upper Westwood, near Bradford on Avon, until its closure in June 1970.

In 1977 Enfield India begins exporting the 350cc Bullet to the UK and Europe. Sales grow rapidly as the bike develops a following amongst classic motorcycle enthusiasts.

In 2015 the company acquires Harris Performance, a renowned British motorcycle design and fabrication firm, to enhance its engineering and product design capabilities. In 2017 the new Royal Enfield Technology Centre opens at Bruntingthorpe Proving Ground, near Leicester in the UK. A team of over 100 engineers, designers and testers begin work on research, development and long-term product strategy. 

In 2021 Royal Enfield celebrates 120 years of Pure Motorcycling.







Saturday, 25 March 2023

I'm not LGBTQ where do I go for help and support?

 I'm not LGBTQ where do I go for help and support?



The answer is Straight Partners Anonymous (SPA) they are a support organisation for straight (Heterosexual) people who discover or who are told that their partner is identifying as Lesbian Gay Bisexual or Transgender (LGBT) and need help in coming to terms with this discovery and support in their decision about what to do next.

Straight Partners Anonymous was set up back in 2008, they have been running online since 2011 and operate from the UK.

SPA’s say on their webpage their that purpose is to bring together straight people whose relationship with their gay, lesbian, or bisexual partner is in crisis. The nature of the crisis can be variable; perhaps the LGBT partner has just come out, or perhaps they feel they are unable to come out of the closet. We exist to support and help each other, not to criticise gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender people. Our bywords are confidentiality, privacy, and respect.


If you are the LGBT partner in the relationship, please pass this web address below to your straight partner and encourage them to get in touch. We are here to support them. However, you may find our perspective useful, so please feel free to browse through the website.


https://straightpartnersanonymous.com/contact-us/

You have to remember your partner has to go through several stages once you "come out to them" you have more than likely had years and years to process how you identify and have been masking your feelings, till you can no longer cope with not being who you feel you really are? Your partner will have feelings of Denial and Shock, and then they will have masses of Anger and Resentment, with this comes questions like

How could my partner have done this to me?

Why didn’t he/she tell me this before we got together?

He/she really didn’t love me at all?

He/she is a coward and a fraud?

I don’t deserve this when I’ve tried hard to make him/her happy?

Doesn’t he/she care about our children and how this will affect their lives?

He/she obviously doesn’t respect me because he/she has cheated and lied...

The list goes on and on depending on the situation, and how long you have been in the partnership/marriage as you might have experienced or are expecting people will also feel a sense of Withdrawal and Depression, this is usually when your partner realises that nothing they can think say or do will change your orientation! For some people that means becoming a single parent and/or financial instability, whilst others will have lost confidence to trust their own judgement and fear that they’re unable to survive alone. 

At some point doesn't your partner will have to reach a point of Acceptance this is when they reach the conclusion and understand that your sexual orientation and the failure of your relationship aren’t, anybody's fault.

Now not every transgender person is interested in the opposite sex say they transition from male to female they may not want to be with men and feel no sexual attraction to males. They may still love females and be attracted to females just as cis lesbians do. 

Some may not come out to the world and just be happy expressing their feminine nature in the privacy of their own home. There are always ways to stay in a marriage if both parties still love each other and wish to make it work.

Teenagers tend to be well educated in Transgender issues and can have peers who have identified as a different gender, or who are experimenting with their gender identity and trying to Identify as he, her, they or them. This doesn't make them a bad person now does it? As a parent we all want the best for our children and for them to be level-headed and happy making the right decisions as they grow to become adults in this world, able to hold their own and be successful in that ever they decide to do in their lives.

If your child comes to you and starts talking about gender please sit with them, listen to them be there for them. Help and support them, help them explore their feelings. Remember common sense is not that common and children have to grow and develop their own common sense in life! Adults who set the rules give guidance and allow children to grow but remember they don't know everything,!  

I know of some people who have been left homeless just for saying they are Transgender, in my mind there is no reason for such action to make it so they have to sleep on the streets where it's totally unsafe for them adult or child.