Living with and coming to terms with the condition, some people will want to hear certain views on this and some will not, that’s life and how well educated people are is our choice.
Gender dystopia in my view is something that can and will surface at some point in some people’s lives, and it can be supressed to some degree but like most things, it will almost always keep on being an issue for the person concerned. It has for me…
As it’s a condition that happens in the womb to the unborn child and is in my experience either a blessing or a curse depending on your view. Its greatly miss under stood by most and transgender issues are thought of as a choice by some people however, if you consider it happens to the unborn child similar to being given a mix of eye colour or being left handed it’s not a choice is it? Neither is being transgender. Some accept the facts some like to believe it is a person’s choice, when in fact the only choice is to address it or perhaps not. I chose to address it after struggling with the condition.
My family have been supportive much more than I expected, and my work place have accepted the news well. I had a useful letter I had drafted up to be read out to them in a special meeting arranged to tell them. They really appreciated my honesty and truthfulness in this personal matter, and given the access to the facts as I saw it, (from a person with gender dystopia.) Has helped them process the news, to say it is going to be plain sailing would be naïve of anybody, especially a transgender person who has lived knowing they have a gender issue for close on 50 years.
So what is changing… well it would be an under estimate if I thought not much would change, since I work in the UK second largest University with 38,500 plus students, it will be news some do not need to know about, and some may need to know. Some may well have similar feelings and wanting to express their own gender, while still young and away from home for the first time.
There is no right time or wrong time when a person should consider making this move to come out. It is very personal, but if there is sufficient support in place, it can be a wonderful experience. The secret is support and understanding plus self confidence in the new you…
So to return to the tag line above “So what’s is changing” my appearance for one is and will continue to change as the hormone injections make their work known, as I’m Male to Female my appearance change will be noticed and scrutinized by all I come into contact with, male and female alike. This will be stressful at times but it is something I kind of look forward to.
I thought coming out to family and work colleagues went better than I could have ever imagined, so we both decided to “bite the bullet” and we informed our neighbours either side of our home via a small personal note in our Christmas cards, expecting lit beacon’s and pitch forks etc. waiting for us. We received cards of support from them… so coming out is not all bad and there is at times when people you know well and not so well will surprise you with sincere words of support.
Therefore, everything changed and nothing has really changed, I have been upfront and honest with all I have decided to tell. What about your kids I hear you say? Well it turns out I have brought up two fantastic kids who respect and support me 110%.
So my advice is pick the right time to come out, do not rush it, allow people time to think about your news. Be ready to answer their questions, and I think no question is stupid perhaps wrongly phased, misplaced or mistimed. However, some maybe none of their business and you are right to brush these aside and politely refuse to answer such questions.
Life is for living and ignorant people with issues will be in your friends and family circle for sure, I have been lucky in not coming up against this yet but I know some people will be like this so be ready for it.
I am for once happy with my life...
No comments:
Post a Comment