It's a little bit funny this feeling inside
I'm not one of those who can easily hide
- Elton John, "Your Song"

Well  Elton John could have been describing my feelings exactly when he wrote those words above. 

When you start to realise that things are not quite right as a child, and your body is a big mistake compared to how it should have been, in your own mind/feelings. 

I actually thought every boy feels the same as  I did, so I rationalised my life around those thoughts only to discover at around age of ten, that this is note the case...

So after burying how I felt for so long, it became normal to feel mixed up and lost in a crowded room, when you are so mixed up you lose a little bit of the real you every day. Coming out you hope to find the real you. However, I think it will take quite a while to recover the lost me.

The bits I have found have been great upto now, and as time passes I can only hope to be complete one day.