It's Complicated for Sure

I have discovered over the past year that transition can be complicated and confusing, not just for me but everybody I come into contact with. Information is not necessarily all there or in one place or it’s not that easy to find exactly what you’re looking for, there are a lot of what I would call “trans 101” articles on the web for cis people, but I felt not so many to actually help trans people through transition. Hopefully my blog will be of some help in solving that.

Just a side note…I am not your therapist or doctor and cannot give medical advice. If you have questions or concerns about your health in particular, please do give your doctor a call.

One of the early questions I asked when I finally came to terms I had gender dysphoria, was how do I stop having gender dysphoria? It was a natural reaction I felt as I had read how devastating being trans can be to a person’s whole life and I mean whole life past and present all gets affected by this.

This was followed up with “Is there a therapy or some tablets that can take that will cure me”?

I heard the reply come quite bluntly from the medical profession, Nicola there is no psychotherapy or drug that will make you stop having gender dysphoria. That was as you can imagine a blow, I was standing on the edge about to lose everything and the only help and advice was initially said to me was basically you have gender dysphoria and no quick fix. I know some things in life are like this and we have to simply pick up what’s left of your world and carry on…

Every time I asked for “a cure or fix” to stay as I was, I was greeted with the same answer… for years mental health professionals tried to “cure” transgender people by making them cisgender… and it worked about as well as reparative therapy for gay people. That is, it didn’t work.

Psychotherapy that tries to make trans people not trans only makes depression, anxiety, and suicidality worse. As many of you now know, I had been down that path and my turning to the doctors was my only chance of continuing to function and live, once I came to terms the old me would have to go and the new me appear, I accepted that medical, social, and legal transition is the only recognized treatment that helps.

Transgender is a medical and psychological diagnosis. It is listed in both the International Classification of Diseases (ICD) and the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). Physicians use the ICD. Psychologists use the DSM. Transgender is listed either as “Gender Dysphoria” or as “Gender Identity Disorder”, depending on the source, but it is the same thing to me.

The fact that transgender is listed as a disorder is in itself controversial. Some feel it is a natural human variation that should not be treated as a disease. Others prefer to keep the diagnosis just as a diagnosis and see being trans as something to fix with transition. In addition, transgenderism as a medical/mental diagnosis means that some health insurances can be billed for medical care relating to being trans. Which in turn means hormone therapy and surgery can be covered by the insurance. In the UK we are lucky to have the National Health Service but the hoops the gatekeepers work by means many who can afford go via the private medical pathway.

Someone contacted me the other day and told me they think they might be Trans? However, they do not like the things they think they are supposed to…

Well that is ok! Not all women like to wear dresses or paint their nails and not all men like football/ DIY/ fast cars the list goes on and on. It does not make you any less a person nor any less Trans.

What does hurt most transgender persons, is “dead naming” and misuse/forgetting the correct pronouns when talking to them or about them.

Just put your brain in gear before your mouth then speak…