I'm not LGBTQ where do I go for help and support?

 I'm not LGBTQ where do I go for help and support?

The answer is Straight Partners Anonymous (SPA) they are a support organisation for straight (Heterosexual) people who discover or who are told that their partner is identifying as Lesbian Gay Bisexual or Transgender (LGBT) and need help in coming to terms with this discovery and support in their decision about what to do next.

Straight Partners Anonymous was set up back in 2008, they have been running online since 2011 and operate from the UK.

SPA’s say on their webpage their that purpose is to bring together straight people whose relationship with their gay, lesbian, or bisexual partner is in crisis. The nature of the crisis can be variable; perhaps the LGBT partner has just come out, or perhaps they feel they are unable to come out of the closet. We exist to support and help each other, not to criticise gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender people. Our bywords are confidentiality, privacy, and respect.

If you are the LGBT partner in the relationship, please pass this web address below to your straight partner and encourage them to get in touch. We are here to support them. However, you may find our perspective useful, so please feel free to browse through the website.

https://straightpartnersanonymous.com/contact-us/

You have to remember your partner has to go through several stages once you "come out to them" you have more than likely had years and years to process how you identify and have been masking your feelings, till you can no longer cope with not being who you feel you really are? Your partner will have feelings of Denial and Shock, and then they will have masses of Anger and Resentment, with this comes questions like

How could my partner have done this to me?

Why didn’t he/she tell me this before we got together?

He/she really didn’t love me at all?

He/she is a coward and a fraud?

I don’t deserve this when I’ve tried hard to make him/her happy?

Doesn’t he/she care about our children and how this will affect their lives?

He/she obviously doesn’t respect me because he/she has cheated and lied...

The list goes on and on depending on the situation, and how long you have been in the partnership/marriage as you might have experienced or are expecting people will also feel a sense of Withdrawal and Depression, this is usually when your partner realises that nothing they can think say or do will change your orientation! For some people that means becoming a single parent and/or financial instability, whilst others will have lost confidence to trust their own judgement and fear that they’re unable to survive alone. 

At some point doesn't your partner will have to reach a point of Acceptance this is when they reach the conclusion and understand that your sexual orientation and the failure of your relationship aren’t, anybody's fault.

Now not every transgender person is interested in the opposite sex say they transition from male to female they may not want to be with men and feel no sexual attraction to males. They may still love females and be attracted to females just as cis lesbians do. 

Some may not come out to the world and just be happy expressing their feminine nature in the privacy of their own home. There are always ways to stay in a marriage if both parties still love each other and wish to make it work.

Teenagers tend to be well educated in Transgender issues and can have peers who have identified as a different gender, or who are experimenting with their gender identity and trying to Identify as he, her, they or them. This doesn't make them a bad person now does it? As a parent we all want the best for our children and for them to be level-headed and happy making the right decisions as they grow to become adults in this world, able to hold their own and be successful in that ever they decide to do in their lives.

If your child comes to you and starts talking about gender please sit with them, listen to them be there for them. Help and support them, help them explore their feelings. Remember common sense is not that common and children have to grow and develop their own common sense in life! Adults who set the rules give guidance and allow children to grow but remember they don't know everything,!  

I know of some people who have been left homeless just for saying they are Transgender, in my mind there is no reason for such action to make it so they have to sleep on the streets where it's totally unsafe for them adult or child. 

So the Genie is out of the bottle time to Transition.

So you have now decided to transition and be the real you, not just a secret.

Well you have come to the right place for information on my transition, and how it might help you to transition. I went from male to female but the process is the same for female to male.

First I recommend two things one, buy a box file for paperwork, and two, start generating a timeline starting as young as you can remember feeling at odds in your body, for me I was five years old.

But for you it can be any time you realised it was all wrong and someone or something had made a massive mistake with your body.

(At this point I would like to say GOD doesn’t make mistakes you are how GOD intended you to be… so if your religious or your family are let’s get that out in the open now before I move on, I say this because my family are Christians and church going, I tend not to bother GOD as he appears quite busy with other goings on).  

So once you have a timeline keep adding to it, documenting what you’re doing and events that are important to your transition. You can thank me later…

At some stage of your transition you will have to change your name by legal deed-pol, (in the UK) there are free sites out there, just check that they are legally accepted as a lot are not. I went to a solicitor and got an official deed-pol, but that was my choice. 

You will need to carry out your name change on everything that holds your old name, from bank accounts to utility bills, council tax to store cards, passports and driving licences everything.

The sooner you do this, and keep a record and any evidence of it the better.

When you finally get your first appointment with the gender clinic, if you can prove you have lived in your chosen gender for a period of time, which should be able to do with your timeline document this in theory should reduce the time you spend waiting to get the Clinics okay for hormone treatment.

I was concerned with how I looked and I didn’t want to be outed as a male transitioning to female, so look at what people of your age group are wearing, and aim for something similar or a little understated, if you want to blend into society fairly hassle free. For goodness sake don't overdo things like make up or outlandish outfits. Just be yourself and confident, keep your head held high, going about your everyday business, if you look and feel confident in your chosen clothes and makeup you will not stand out like a sore thumb, you will be surprised as most people won't even notice you. Which means you’ve passed as your chosen gender which in my case Female.

Transitioning is quite a long process but assuming you have already reached the decision to transition let’s move on.

It’s best to visit your chosen General Practitioner GP/Doctor, and ask to be referred to a gender clinic, you can normally choose which one, but do bear in mind, you'll need to attend the Gender Identity Clinic a lot of times during your transition, but tell your GP which gender clinics you want to be under however, at present there isn't many to choose from in the UK. 

It’s wise to ask the doctor for a copy of the letter they send referring you to a GIC, (do you remember the box file I said get at the beginning, stick it in there) unfortunately all too often I hear that their GP/Dr 'forgot' to send the letter and they have lost 6 months waiting to hear back from the GIC and lists are horrendously long as it is.

So at some stage you will need to tell your Family, Employer, Work colleagues and Friends, be prepared as they might not react the way you wanted or expected either from Family or friends ect. Remember it’s taken you quite a while to get to this point… But explain everything to them, how you feel and why you are doing it.

With some luck your family will come round, but it may take some time for them to digest the news. Your employer will have a duty under the law to accept your news (Equalities Act 2010 if you’re in the UK) and deal with anything untoward from colleagues and co-workers. If you’re in a trades union they are also are very helpful and are fully LGBTQ compliant with current issues and the law etc. my Union was the GMB and were faultless in helping me, as was the companies Unison’s rep which was nice.

copy and paste these wiki links to learn more. 
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equality_Act_2010
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_Recognition_Act_2004

Is the UK a safe place to be Transgender in 2018?

I know from some recent Stonewall research just how bad things are, if you are trying to get on with your life as a transgender person in Britain today. 

It is known that in the last twelve months, two in five trans people have experienced a hate crime or incident. I know because I was one of the statistics of an unsolved hate crime against me, while simply doing my weekly shopping in the town where I live.

Every day in the UK, transgender people continue to be mocked, excluded, bullied and attacked, simply for existing. I have personally tried with all my heart to make a successful transition, but at the moment I have real doubts on it being successful and I am now even considering de-transitioning on the grounds of my safety. (More on that in a future blog)

Now, other countries are openly agreeing that Britain is in fact an unsafe place for transgender people. How can that be? We were leading the world at one stage on transgender recognition and rights. But the other year, a tribunal in New Zealand granted asylum to a transgender woman from Britain on the basis that her life would be in danger if she returned to the UK.

This should by all rights be considered a national embarrassment, that this is where the UK is on it’s LGBT rights and acceptance.We simply cannot continue to call ourselves a world-leader in LGBT-inclusion, nor a beacon of equality for diverse communities.

It sadly appears that many of our mainstream media from newspaper articles to general social media all seem to have gone to the Donald Trump school of non common-sense.  I think they have in fact even stepped up a gear, over recent months in their attempts to make all the vile transphobia acceptable, even questioning the right of transgender people to even exist in their world.

We must make sure that this isn't something that is ever going to be open for debate, as doing so is giving the go ahead to these messages, that has a very real and devastating real-world consequences for transgender people who just want to live their lives.

Many trans people feel unable to be themselves because of this treatment, whether at work, using public transport or even just shopping for groceries.

Its sad new to hear that the woman recently granted asylum in New Zealand told the courts that she would have to wait until late night to shop for her essentials in Britain. I know we have started to do the similar I don’t thing of going shopping until 8:30pm  or 9pm on a quiet Monday evening. The woman did this so she would be around as few people as possible, because she felt too afraid and unsafe to be herself in public, which is how, I feel nowadays in the UK.

It appears that transphobia in Britain filters down into our children in the UK schools too.We have research that shows almost half of under 18 year old transgender people have attempted suicide, yet in the schools just two in five of the teachers condemn transphobic bullying which is very sad news.

I have read that towards the end of 2017, the government is planning to have a public consultation on reforming the Gender Recognition Act, which if done correctly has the potential to transform the current very invasive and bureaucratic system that governs how transgender people get legal recognition of their new gender. 

As a nation we cannot allow Britain to continue to be an unsafe place for transgender people its currently a unwelcoming and frightening place for transgender people to live work or play. The situation we are in today is totally shameful and avoidable. I only hope the up coming changes to the Gender Recognition Act will be a catalyst for a total change in the publics attitude to transgender people in the UK

laser hair removal update.

The laser hair removal was... well lacking would be the best word, it retarded the hair growth of the dark hairs but it failed to kill all of them off. So here I am looking in the mirror seeing the same old stubble every morning it's so unfair, but that's life.


My next move is to go for electrolysis which by all accounts hurts like heck and costs a bucket load of cash, The NHS England's list of approved electrolysis technicians and salons appears to sparse on the ground in my area, plenty in the larger cities and even some large towns but for me I will have to travel to get beard removal by this method.


My understanding of the process is an electric current is applied using a very fine needle-shaped electrode or metal probe into each hair follicle with the mission to destroy the hair's root.

It all sounds easily enough but hair grows in different stages: growing, resting and shedding. Because all of the hair isn't on the same stage at any given time, multiple sessions are needed to get to the hair removed stage. So in theory each 1" of skin area may or may not need 3 treatments to give you a smooth as a baby's bottom face. now to me that's expensive on the pocket and second sound like a lot of pain spread over quite a while. (If anybody reading this has gone through this treatment please leave me a comment in the section below and let me know how it is going or how good it is at removing face hair.)

Well I have now been to a specialist electrolysis hair removing clinic, and I can confirm it was painful without the anaesthetic cream, so when I book in to have the treatment I will have applied the anaesthetic cream in advance. I'm currently waiting for a NHS England white paper looking at the time that is currently funded by the NHS for electrolysis treatment before I commit to starting the beard removal as in the past is not applied to past persons, so you can lose out on the newer number of treatments the NHS will fund.

I remember reading about a transfemale saying to get the beard stubble started first and after living in role for over 2 years, I can now see what she was getting at. So I recommend anyone reading this blog, to look at beard removal early on as razor burn on your neck is a dead give away every day.

As soon as I start electrolysis treatment I will post updates to this page.

Ulcerated Colitis

 

Just when you think you have a handle on all that life can throw you, I found out I have severe Ulcerated Colitis. 

If like me you didn't know anything about the condition you could be missing the bigger picture I certainly was, having ME you generally suffer with IBS at some point, I mistook my IBD for IBS.

Now the initials sound similar but the medical condition is in my view much worst.

Inflamed Bowel Disease is a disabling condition and limits what a person can do, as they need to be able to "get the seat down" in seconds when out and about it’s a case of going going gone...

I could write a very personal blog on the toilet habits of a UC sufferer but I would only be repeating what thousands of sufferers will tell you, instead I will guide you to the best source of information I could find in the UK below is a bit from a this most excellent source of information on the subject.

(https://www.crohnsandcolitis.org.uk/)

“Crohn's Disease and Ulcerative Colitis are the two main forms of Inflammatory Bowel Disease, affecting more than 300,000 people in the UK.

Yet it is largely a hidden disease, and one that causes stigma, fear and isolation – it’s thought that many people with the condition go undiagnosed and suffer in silence. It doesn’t have to be like this.

What is Ulcerative Colitis?

Ulcerative Colitis is a condition that causes inflammation and ulceration of the inner lining of the rectum and colon (the large bowel). In UC, tiny ulcers develop on the surface of the lining and these may bleed and produce pus.

The inflammation usually begins in the rectum and lower colon, but it may affect the entire colon. If UC only affects the rectum, it is called proctitis, while if it affects the whole colon it may be called total colitis or pancolitis.

It’s one of the two main forms of Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD). The other is Crohn’s Disease.

Ulcerative Colitis is a chronic condition. This means that it is ongoing and life-long, although you may have periods of good health (remission), as well as times when symptoms are more active (relapses or flare-ups).

What are the symptoms?

Ulcerative Colitis is a very individual condition and its symptoms will vary from person to person. They range from mild to severe and may also change over time.

Some people remain well for a long time, while others have frequent flare-ups. However, the most common symptoms are:

• Diarrhoea
• Cramping pains in the abdomen
• Tiredness and fatigue
• Feeling generally unwell or feverish
• Loss of appetite and weight loss
• Anaemia (a reduced level of red blood cells).

Find out more about the symptoms of Ulcerative Colitis

Who gets Ulcerative Colitis?

It’s estimated that UC affects about one in every 420 people in the UK (roughly 146,000 people).

UC is more common in urban areas and in northern developed countries, although we’re starting to see an increase in numbers in developing nations, too.

UC is also more common in white people of European descent, especially those descended from Ashkenazi Jews (those who lived in Eastern Europe and Russia).

It can start at any age, though it often appears for the first time between the ages of 15 and 25. It affects men and women equally.

UC tends to develop more frequently in non-smokers and ex-smokers than in smokers – but health professionals strongly advise against smoking as a way of treating Ulcerative Colitis.  See Smoking and IBD for more information.

Our Ambassadors embody the wide range of people who get Crohn’s Disease. Read their stories.

What are the causes & is there a cure?

Although there has been a lot of research, we still don’t really know what causes Ulcerative Colitis.  However, advances have been made in recent years, particularly in genetics and we now believe that UC is caused by a combination of factors:

- the genes you’re born with
- plus an abnormal reaction of the digestive system to bacteria in the intestine
- along with an unknown 'trigger' that could include viruses, other bacteria, diet, stress, or something else in the environment.

There isn't a cure at the moment but a lot can be done with medication and surgery to help keep symptoms under control.

Read about the research we’re funding into the causes and treatment of Ulcerative Colitis 

What treatments are there for Ulcerative Colitis?

Ulcerative Colitis can often be managed by medication (drug treatment), but surgery can be necessary if symptoms are very bad.

Your treatment will depend on the type and severity of your UC and the choices you make with your doctor.

Find out what treatments are available for Ulcerative Colitis.

Can Ulcerative Colitis have complications?

More than a third of people with UC develop other conditions outside of the digestive system, mainly affecting the joints, eyes and skin.

Inflammation of the joints (arthritis) affects about one out of 10 people with UC. Some people with UC also develop ankylosing spondylitis, a condition in which the joints in the spine and pelvis become inflamed and stiff. Drugs and physiotherapy are used to treat these symptoms.

A variety of other health conditions can be associated with UC, including:

• skin problems, such as mouth ulcers, blisters and ulcers on the skin, and painful red swellings, usually on the legs
• inflammation of the eyes
• thinner and weaker bones
• liver inflammation
• blood clots (including deep vein thrombosis)
• anaemia.

It’s important to stress that Ulcerative Colitis is not a form of cancer. However, if you have had extensive or total colitis (pancolitis) for many years, you have a greater risk than normal of developing cancer in the colon or rectum. For more information about this, see our information sheet Bowel Cancer and IBD

Find out more about complications by downloading our Ulcerative Colitis booklet

What are the challenges of living with the condition?

Living with a chronic condition like Ulcerative Colitis  can have both an emotional and practical impact on your life.  There may be times when you have to make adjustments and take time to recuperate, for example, if you are having a flare-up.  On the other hand, when you are well you may be able to live life to the full. 

Most obviously, you are likely to see your GP and perhaps also your hospital IBD team quite regularly. It’s good to build up a good relationship with them, as that can make seeking and receiving treatment a less stressful process.  See our booklet My Crohn’s and Colitis Care for more information about to work with your IBD team to get the best out of your care.

Flare-ups can be disruptive to relationships and work – sometimes you may need to cancel engagements and take time off when you are feeling unwell.   It can be very helpful if you feel you can open up about your condition to those around you – your family, friends, work colleagues and employers.  Telling particularly family and friends at least something about your illness may make them feel reassured and more able to give you the support you need.

Diet is considered a factor in the appearance and severity of symptoms by many people with Ulcerative Colitis – although research has not produced clear answers on whether diet plays a role in UC.

Generally, the most important thing is to eat a nutritious and balanced diet to maintain your weight and strength, and to drink sufficient fluids to stop you getting dehydrated. 

However, you may find during flare-ups that certain foods affect your symptoms.  Bland, soft foods may cause less discomfort than raw vegetables, spicy and high-fibre foods .

Most women with Ulcerative Colitis can expect a normal pregnancy and a healthy baby. Also, for most women, having a baby does not make their UC worse. But if you do become pregnant during a flare-up, you may be more likely to give birth early or have a baby with a low birth weight. Your doctor should be able to help you to control your symptoms as much as possible, and it may be helpful to discuss your options with them if you are thinking of having a baby.

Around a quarter of people are children or adolescents when they are diagnosed with IBD, and symptoms in young people often appear around the age of 12. Ulcerative Colitis in children tends to be more extensive in children than adults, and consequently more severe.

Download our free information sheet on Staying well with IBD

- See more at: https://www.crohnsandcolitis.org.uk/about-inflammatory-bowel-disease/ulcerative-colitis#sthash.qaiqa8jG.dpuf

Hopefully, upon reading this blog page you will have a better understanding of Ulcerative Colitis and I would like to thank chronsandcolitis.org for the information they gave me on their web site when I was first diagnosed in a NHS hospital in my home town.

So why have I chosen to blog about my UC on my Transgender blog site well there is a link.

Taking female hormones as transgender male to female as you have to do, in order to alter loads of incorrect things with your body, the hormones has the effect of increasing the risk for ulcerative colitis (UC), but not Crohn's disease (CD), according to my consultant at the gender clinic I attend. He sees many transgender M2F people discovering they now have UC. It’s not a show stopper as such on the transition side, and lower surgery can still go ahead in most cases but it needs to be under control and not in flair up mode for obvious reasons.

A transgender person’s BMI is taken into account so being on or below your BMI is a good thing as far as lower surgery is concerned so if like me you have UC just watch your diet as my weight yoyos between flair ups quite a bit.

When I have a flair up I tend to reduce my insoluble fibre intake and make more healthy 80% veg 20% fruit juice as meal replacements I live on a modified vegan diet or a heavily modified paleo type of diet, as it reduces my “seat down time” spent going the loo. 

 I think People think a person just wakes up and decides to be transgender…

 

 

 

 

The newspaper headline reads, “Gender identity clinic services under strain as referral rates soar” like it is our fault we identify as transgender.
Such headlines sell papers and get airtime I guess but there is another side to headlines like that, as the funding for all NHS care becomes squeezed and people are denied care and treatment for various conditions. It is easy to target a venerable sector of the population isn’t it? (In the UK approximately 650,000 people that’s about 1% of the population, are estimated to experience some degree of gender non-conformity)

 

With some new GIC patients waiting up to four years for appointments figures show referral increases of up to several hundred per cent. The increase in referrals to gender identity services runs parallel with society hopefully becoming more accepting of transgenderism.

 

The number of Britons seeking gender identity treatment has shot up dramatically in recent years, leaving vulnerable people waiting years for a specialist appointment. They unfortunately become trapped in a situation that can be devastating to them and their families. Most GP’s will not know or understand what this situation feels like to the transgender person, just waiting having their whole life on hold. Waiting for the first of many appointments with months between each appointment and medical evaluations and assessments made before any hormone treatment is granted only then can the transgender person start their slow transition from male to female or female to male. There is the additional period of living in role that has to be completed on top of the wait to see the Consultants in the GIC’s.

 

It is not a short journey you embark upon when you identify as being in the wrong body, it is not a whim or a phase this rise in the numbers of people seeking to transition it is just human development.  As we all develop a greater understanding of who we are and how we feel, and how we should be viewed in the world by everyone else,  plus the development of western society to move away from the binary thought of male/female, to having a third gender where we accept that a person is able to change from one gender to another in order to continue to live.

 

Figures obtained under the Freedom of Information Act reveal increases in the number of referrals to all of the UK’s 14 gender identity clinics (GICs) in recent years, with a number of clinics experiencing increases of several hundred percent.

 

At Charing Cross in London, the oldest and largest adult clinic, the number of referrals has almost quadrupled in 10 years, from 498 in 2006-07 to 1,892 in 2015-16.

 

A clinic in Nottingham reported a 28-fold increase in referrals in eight years, from 30 in 2008 to 850 in 2015. It expected this to increase to more than 1,000 referrals during 2016.

 

The Laurels clinic in Exeter has seen a 20-fold increase in referrals in a decade, from 31 in 2005-06 to 636 in 2015-16.

 

Referrals to Sheffield’s clinic went up from eight in 1998 to 301 in 2015.

 

At a GIC in Leeds, referrals tripled from 131 in 2009-10 to 414 in 2015-16. The increase put such a strain on the service that last October it estimated that new patients would have to wait four years for their first appointment.

 

While the clinic in Daventry, Northamptonshire, which I attend, has had a five-fold increase in the past year alone, up from 88 referrals in 2014-15 to 466 in 2015-16. The latest figures released by the trust shows that most people attending their first appointment with the clinic this month had their referral accepted over 40 weeks earlier.

 

My only hope is that the government doesn’t put the squeeze on the funding that covers the gender clinics as suicide rates in the Transgender community is already way to high and cutting the funding for clinics, medication and surgery will leave people feeling all is lost and suicide an answer to their sufferings, which we know it isn’t. 

 

Leaving the EU and triggering article 50 may have an impact on the lives of transgender people living in the UK, It’s down to the UK government to raise the bar on Equality and set an example for the rest of Europe to look up to and to follow. 

 

 

 

Happy Christmas 2016

Well for the first time since I don't know when I'm happy... well I should say since coming out as transgender I have never been so happy and feeling complete as I do nowadays. I sleep better at night; I am told I smile more than before and I’m not as grumpy to be around as I was.

It’s quite complex being transgender and taking the necessary hormones to transition does affect you in many ways some good some not too good. My blood pressure went through the roof as they say so I now have to take meds to control it. This is a side-effect of the hormones I take every day, I have a dislike of needles so getting my 3 month jab of Prostrap 3 (leuprorelin acetate) takes me a day or so to get ready for it. Its something I have suffered with all my life and despite being told it will become second nature and it will be nothing to worry about I still nearly faint/ pass out every time.

Christmas is just around the corner and the shops are full of shoppers spending and spending on items to make them and others happy on the big day, they can never match the happiness I feel every morning knowing I am doing something positive and life changing.

My laser hair removal has sort of worked but on my face its less than I had hoped for with quite a few hairs continuing to be a visible reminder each morning. the process has worked better on less visible areas like my chest and back. I guess it will have to be electrolysis hair removal for the rest, I hear it's much more painful than the laser, but needs must, there is a useful web page http://www.electrolysis.co.uk/faqs/  if any body need further information on the process etc.

I have an upcoming appointment at my GIC so I will see what's next on the long list of boxes that need ticking... fast it is not, easy it is not, and cheap it is not.. but worth it yes.

I suffered my first hate crime by two "dick heads" shouting abuse at me in a shop, I avoided raising to the abuse and simply went on line the next day when I had calmed down and reported it. I was thinking of reasons why I should report it as in the past I would have stood my ground and had a fight. 
But hate crimes and incidents hurt; they can be confusing and very frightening. By reporting them when they happen to you, you may be able to prevent these incidents from happening to someone else. 
You also help the local police understand the extent of the hate crime in your local area so they can better respond to it.
Reporting makes a difference, to you your friends and your life.

A transphobic hate crime is:

“Any criminal offence which is perceived, by the victim or any other person, to be motivated by a hostility or prejudice against a person who is transgender or perceived to be transgender.”

Head over to http://report-it.org.uk/home and check out the website. 
a quick link to the reporting page is here http://www.report-it.org.uk/your_police_force

I expected some harassment in a small working class town in the North of England. However I'm still happy and on course despite the two low life's, who had a pop at me. I have the UK law The Criminal Justice Act 2003 section 146 to help in putting these people away for their actions.

CFS update

Sorry for the lack of posting on the blog but the ravages of CFS /ME had me in their deadly grip on a 5+ week relapse, so life just stopped for me. Asleep most of the days and nights and in pain when I was awake, it did not inspire me to do much on the blog as I didn’t want to make pages full of my CFS when being transgender and transitioning is the main focus of the blog.

 

 

Gender Identity Clinic’s UK first appointment.

 



Your first appointment will normally be an hour and you will be doing a lot of talking. You will talk about how you feel about your gender and your body, about what you want out of transition, what you expect to happen and when - there are no wrong answers.

It’s just to prep you for the process ahead. You will talk about your transition so far, so if you have officially changed your name amended your driver’s licence passport informed work or made any other efforts toward transition, then take all the evidence you can to support your case. I found it useful to write an open letter detailing from early years to present day, showing feeling and events that confirmed how I felt and whom I should be.

There is quite a bit differences between the FtM and the MtF pathways, so I cannot really explain from first hand experance at how it might go if you're FtM.

But the common areas will be you will need to be booked in for blood tests and a psych evaluation, and then sent another appointment for about 3 to 6 months’ time. I travel to my clinic, which is 135 miles each way by road. I get all my blood tests done in my own surgery practice and send the results back to the GIC, or I will perhaps take them with me on the next appointment at the GIC.

Your experience will vary depending on your needs, everybody is different and your disposition, where you are in the whole process and the outcome you wish to receive is taken into account.

The treatment you will get does make a big difference to your pathway. If you are after hormones and hormone blockers, (FtM people may be more hoops to jump through I don’t know.) However, everybody has to undergo about 2 years real life experience (RLE), and possibly additional requirements to fulfil for longer if the GIC thinks you need it.

To the best of my knowledge, the pathway is nothing like clear-cut, I have read many conflicting recollections from people and each experience differs to the next.

It used to be that clinics were reluctant to prescribe/refer people if there were not clearly identified 'gendered' outcomes to aim for; this was due to the irreversible effects from the treatment. People who go into the process without a clear picture of what their desired outcomes are, tend to bounce around the system for much longer. So from your first appointment have a clear understanding what you want from the appointments and the GIC.

 

Is surgery on your list? If so, have a clear understanding what is involved and how you go about it. The GIC’s like everybody to be 100% sure before and medical assistance is offered they have targets you need to meet or hoops the gatekeeper’s demand you full fill. In fact, they like us to be really really sure, before any medical/surgical intervention. The surgeons will have additional waiting lists for the operations, so if you are requiring full surgery make sure you are within the agreed BMI range the surgeon needs you to be within it is for your own benefit. (Just search prolapse womb on google) Not nice… and being above your BMI raises the risks significantly.  

Another question many others and I asked is what to wear?

There is no set dress code as I can see, but they do expect you to be “fully” expressing your chosen gender as soon as possible. So being male to female I always made sure I’m dressed correctly for a female, either smart wear or casual, but I always have to feel comfortable and at ease first in whatever I have chosen to wear. Don’t worry too much was a comment I got and be yourself… I took they were referring the new female me and not the old male me! The GIC’s generally expect you to be full time living in the chosen gender within 12 months (or sooner) of your first appointment at the GIC.

Don’t self-administer medication and buy from the internet, the GIC’s really frown on such activities as the medication is unknown and unmonitored and you can damage your body which in turn will then take you longer to achieve the results you were after. Hormones do so much to your whole body so wait as the GIC’s request you do, when they are happy to prescribe hormones and blockers they will. It’s like changing a Mini to a Rolls Royce both are cars but totally different in every way so is the male and female bodies, you would expect a DIY’er  to do the work nor do the GIC’s so don’t mess…

 

 

Have a look at this NHS page for official info from the NHS.

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Gender-dysphoria/Pages/Treatment.aspx

 

Having a ball...

Enjoying summer in the UK... It's always different every day, other countries can more or less guarantee their summer weather, but not hear in the UK my Dad would often say as I was flying through the door, take a coat with you... if it's raining please yourself, it still makes me smile as I tell my children the same thing and they reply in a similar way that I did haha.

We are just not set up for anything above the mid to late 20's centigrade every year we wish for a dry hot summer and as soon as it arrives we wish for cooler weather. What I wasn't ready for was the difference I found this year with my hair extensions on my head! Would you put a tight fitting woolly hat on in 30'c+ heat? Well with a full head weave you have just that going on 24/7. There is nothing you can do during the day, and certainly nothing you can do when you try to sleep. Shopping in a large store with air conditioning really helps for a short time since we don't have air con at home that's the only time during a heatwave I feel normal again, well if scouting the store for the cool breeze is normal😜.
On saying that I do love my hair extensions and I'm very happy with my hair length and style even this unseasonably hot Brittish weather, I guess I'm having a ball as Nicola.