2026 Feels different but I’m still here.

 

I’ve been thinking a lot about what 2026 feels like as a transgender woman.

Not just in a political sense, or in terms of headlines—but in the day-to-day reality of existing in public spaces, making choices about where I feel safe, and trying to live a normal life in a world that keeps debating whether people like me should have to justify it.

And honestly, it feels like a year of contradictions.

Some things are better than they used to be. Visibility is higher. More people understand trans identities than ever before. There are more conversations, more representation, more language for who we are.

But at the same time, there’s also more tension. More scrutiny. More policies being rewritten in ways that feel like they are trying to define us more tightly rather than understand us more fully.

🚻 Living in a world of “rules” that don’t always feel real

One of the hardest things in 2026 is how inconsistent everything feels.

Depending on where I am, I might be:

• completely accepted without question
• quietly assessed by policy rather than people
• or suddenly reminded that some spaces see me differently than I see myself

There’s no single experience anymore. It changes from place to place, building to building, even person to person.

What makes it harder is that the rules are often written in a way that sounds simple on paper—but life isn’t simple.

People don’t exist as categories. We exist as people.

And sometimes it feels like policy is still catching up to that basic truth.

🧠 The emotional weight people don’t always see

What doesn’t always get talked about is the mental side of all this.

It’s not just about laws or access to spaces—it’s the constant background calculation many trans women end up doing:

• Is this place safe for me?
• Will I be questioned here?
• Do I need to explain myself today—or not?

That kind of thinking becomes normal over time, but it’s still exhausting.

And yet, life doesn’t stop for politics. You still go to work. You still meet friends. You still try to build something meaningful.

So most of us just keep adapting.

🏳️‍⚧️ What has actually changed in 2026

If I try to be fair and honest, 2026 isn’t just one story.

Some things that stand out:

• More awareness of trans issues in mainstream conversation
• More structured policies in public institutions
• More debate, more visibility, more opinion everywhere
• But also more inconsistency in how those policies are applied

It feels less like a straight line of progress or setback—and more like a patchwork.

Some parts of life feel more open than before. Others feel more uncertain.

Both can be true at the same time.

🌍 What I’ve learned about moving forward

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that waiting for the world to “finish deciding” who we are isn’t a plan.

Life happens in the meantime.

So I focus more on what I can actually build around me:

• people who see me as I am, not as a debate
• spaces where I don’t have to explain myself
• routines that keep me grounded when the outside world feels loud

And I’ve also learned that change doesn’t only come from big systems. It also comes from small things:

• conversations that shift someone’s understanding
• local communities that quietly support each other
• showing up consistently, even when things feel uncertain

Those things matter more than they look like they should.

✨ Final thought

Being a transgender woman in 2026 isn’t one single experience. It’s layered, shifting, sometimes frustrating, sometimes affirming—but always real.

And even when the world feels like it’s still arguing about definitions, I’ve learned something simple:

I don’t have to wait for perfect clarity from everyone else in order to live my life with clarity myself.

Finding yourself

Coming out as transgender is a long process.

 

I discovered this despite wanting a quick transition, let me explain further. 

I came out in 2014 to my family and they all accepted me, my daughter wasn't surprised and had guessed I was trans, so much for keeping it under the radar! 

I came out at work in 2015 and It was a planned coming out, (I was a Project manager at the time.) I didn't want to be the subject of department gossip around the water cooler. So I came out and all went well I worked with the HR department and the diversity team where I worked, I became the go to person for Trans issues and events. they would invite me to all sorts of events to show they were LGBTQ friendly and accepting company. At first I was pleased to be in the spot light but after a while I began to feel the company was using me and my transition. So I left the employer and took a more relaxing job with another company than employed me as a woman, the fanfare of having a trans member of staff in the past job was over, I enjoyed my newly found freedom. Then the world had Covid19, working from home and all that, little did we know the world was about to undergo massive social changes because of Covid19 and as I write this we are still having to have booster jabs for Covid in fall 2022.

All this working at home during lockdown in the uk I had time to reflect on my transition I asked my self several questions on transition. One has it gone to plan? Two was I happy  and Three would I change anything? Three big question I guess every trans person thinks at one time or another. 

So to answer as quickly as I can, yes it did go to plan and I would recommend anybody coming out to plan as much as you can so you can control the biggest event in your life as much as possible, okay I'm aware you can't ever control every aspect of a transition but having information to hand to educate people you work with is a must. to educate family on the in's and out's of being transgender is very important. A lot of people including family will not get the need to come out and you will get Dead named a lot of the time. you have to develop a thick skin to being Dead Named, I found people don't do it on purpose they forget especially if they are old or of a forgetful nature. 

Two, yes I am very happy but it did take a while to find the real me... You see I have hobbies that I stopped doing as I thought it wasn't girly enough so I stopped doing the things that brought me a lot of joy, one of these hobbies was motorcycles. During lockdown I decided to buy another motorcycle for transport and to get some fresh air from working at home. I was the best thing I could have done I got so much pleasure throwing my leg over the bike and just riding somewhere. I now have a couple of motorcycles mainly off road trials bikes, that I ride as and when I wish. I started looking for YouTube female riders and found several including itchy boots Girl on a bike and Saffy Sprocket. I quickly realised its acceptable to be a female and ride a motorcycle. I feel that being the real me is a very complex thing and being happy is a very important part of good mental health. You have to be happy in the skin your in.

Three, would I change anything, I guess yes I wouldn't stop doing things that make me happy as women do everything and the boundaries are only in your mind, yes you might get strange comments and looks from some people but I discovered I can deal with it, as I have the enjoyment being happy gives me. I think it's their problem if they don't like me or understand who I am. Being in a good place you have a special energy that builds you up and gives you the I can do this attitude.

So if you find yourself considering changing back to the old you (detransitioning) stop and ask yourself what's causing you to think that might be the solution to the situation as you probably were very unhappy pre transition so you are likely. to be in the same loop in a short while? being You doesn't have to have a label you can identify as who you feel best as, for me it's female. Lockdown had given me the chance to look at myself and reflect on my life and what is important.  During lockdown the NHS stopped all non essential surgeries and that included upper and lower surgery for a lot of people transitioning, the waiting lists is vey long and the NHS has been dropping people off the surgery lists. you have to jump through hoops once again. so its back to the gender clinics to be put back on surgeons lists for upper and lower surgery. 

So from Covid 19 I have learned a lot about myself and about people around me, people have lost friends and family in covid it has been a time to reflect on life and and the changes brought to us all with Covid19. 

You have to stay positive and accept things you can't change and embrace the life you have, there are losses along the way in every life that we have to overcome and come to terms with. so moving forward live the life you have and enjoy every second you have. The Pandemic has shown us how it can be taken away in a second.

(all copyright to the image used acknowledge sorry if any infringement )

So the Genie is out of the bottle time to Transition.

So you have now decided to transition and be the real you, not just a secret.

Well you have come to the right place for information on my transition, and how it might help you to transition. I went from male to female but the process is the same for female to male.

First I recommend two things one, buy a box file for paperwork, and two, start generating a timeline starting as young as you can remember feeling at odds in your body, for me I was five years old.

But for you it can be any time you realised it was all wrong and someone or something had made a massive mistake with your body.

(At this point I would like to say GOD doesn’t make mistakes you are how GOD intended you to be… so if your religious or your family are let’s get that out in the open now before I move on, I say this because my family are Christians and church going, I tend not to bother GOD as he appears quite busy with other goings on).  

So once you have a timeline keep adding to it, documenting what you’re doing and events that are important to your transition. You can thank me later…

At some stage of your transition you will have to change your name by legal deed-pol, (in the UK) there are free sites out there, just check that they are legally accepted as a lot are not. I went to a solicitor and got an official deed-pol, but that was my choice. 

You will need to carry out your name change on everything that holds your old name, from bank accounts to utility bills, council tax to store cards, passports and driving licences everything.

The sooner you do this, and keep a record and any evidence of it the better.

When you finally get your first appointment with the gender clinic, if you can prove you have lived in your chosen gender for a period of time, which should be able to do with your timeline document this in theory should reduce the time you spend waiting to get the Clinics okay for hormone treatment.

I was concerned with how I looked and I didn’t want to be outed as a male transitioning to female, so look at what people of your age group are wearing, and aim for something similar or a little understated, if you want to blend into society fairly hassle free. For goodness sake don't overdo things like make up or outlandish outfits. Just be yourself and confident, keep your head held high, going about your everyday business, if you look and feel confident in your chosen clothes and makeup you will not stand out like a sore thumb, you will be surprised as most people won't even notice you. Which means you’ve passed as your chosen gender which in my case Female.

Transitioning is quite a long process but assuming you have already reached the decision to transition let’s move on.

It’s best to visit your chosen General Practitioner GP/Doctor, and ask to be referred to a gender clinic, you can normally choose which one, but do bear in mind, you'll need to attend the Gender Identity Clinic a lot of times during your transition, but tell your GP which gender clinics you want to be under however, at present there isn't many to choose from in the UK. 

It’s wise to ask the doctor for a copy of the letter they send referring you to a GIC, (do you remember the box file I said get at the beginning, stick it in there) unfortunately all too often I hear that their GP/Dr 'forgot' to send the letter and they have lost 6 months waiting to hear back from the GIC and lists are horrendously long as it is.

So at some stage you will need to tell your Family, Employer, Work colleagues and Friends, be prepared as they might not react the way you wanted or expected either from Family or friends ect. Remember it’s taken you quite a while to get to this point… But explain everything to them, how you feel and why you are doing it.

With some luck your family will come round, but it may take some time for them to digest the news. Your employer will have a duty under the law to accept your news (Equalities Act 2010 if you’re in the UK) and deal with anything untoward from colleagues and co-workers. If you’re in a trades union they are also are very helpful and are fully LGBTQ compliant with current issues and the law etc. my Union was the GMB and were faultless in helping me, as was the companies Unison’s rep which was nice.

copy and paste these wiki links to learn more. 
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equality_Act_2010
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_Recognition_Act_2004

Manchester Sparkle

 

 

 

 



I have just bought this wonderful summer dress to wear to Manchester Sparkle in early July this year (2017) Weather permitting that is. Since the horrendous attack on the Manchester Arena this week (22nd May 2017) I'm more determined to attend the Sparkle event than ever before.


Manchester is a fantastic city with some great places to visit and see, the Manchester people are strong and always pull together when facing adversary of any kind. This terror attack will be handled in the same way that Mancunians have done so for years. This is not the first explosion to rock the great city. “We won’t take defeat and we don’t want your pity” is a phase you will see in the UK press and on the internet and its just about sums up this proud united city.
Tony Walsh a self-styled Longfella recited an ode at the recent vigil gathering in the cities centre. thousands were in attendance.

"We keep fighting back with Greater Manchester spirit
Northern grit, northern wit, and Greater Manchester’s lyrics
And these hard times again, in these streets of our city
But we won’t take defeat and we don’t want your pity."

 

Everyone at the vigil gathering roared their approval, and there was prolonged, heartfelt applause as he finished the ode. His words have now gone viral across social media around the world, capturing a moment that summed up the mood that evening.

The city is open for business and the Transgender Sparkle event is just one event in the city that will continue to happen in and around Manchester regardless of terror attacks or any threats. Sparkle will once again take place in Sackville Gardens, Manchester in 2017 as follows:

• Sparkle Fringe        1st to 7th July 2017
• Sparkle Weekend   7th to 9th July 2017

 

The Sparkle event is open to all to attend you don't have to be LGBT just human (I think and that's flexible by the sounds of things :-))  So get your party pants on and get down or up to Sparkle Manchester 2017 it's going to be great, and even greater if more than last year turn out to support Transgender people.

 

 

 I think People think a person just wakes up and decides to be transgender…

 

 

 

 

The newspaper headline reads, “Gender identity clinic services under strain as referral rates soar” like it is our fault we identify as transgender.
Such headlines sell papers and get airtime I guess but there is another side to headlines like that, as the funding for all NHS care becomes squeezed and people are denied care and treatment for various conditions. It is easy to target a venerable sector of the population isn’t it? (In the UK approximately 650,000 people that’s about 1% of the population, are estimated to experience some degree of gender non-conformity)

 

With some new GIC patients waiting up to four years for appointments figures show referral increases of up to several hundred per cent. The increase in referrals to gender identity services runs parallel with society hopefully becoming more accepting of transgenderism.

 

The number of Britons seeking gender identity treatment has shot up dramatically in recent years, leaving vulnerable people waiting years for a specialist appointment. They unfortunately become trapped in a situation that can be devastating to them and their families. Most GP’s will not know or understand what this situation feels like to the transgender person, just waiting having their whole life on hold. Waiting for the first of many appointments with months between each appointment and medical evaluations and assessments made before any hormone treatment is granted only then can the transgender person start their slow transition from male to female or female to male. There is the additional period of living in role that has to be completed on top of the wait to see the Consultants in the GIC’s.

 

It is not a short journey you embark upon when you identify as being in the wrong body, it is not a whim or a phase this rise in the numbers of people seeking to transition it is just human development.  As we all develop a greater understanding of who we are and how we feel, and how we should be viewed in the world by everyone else,  plus the development of western society to move away from the binary thought of male/female, to having a third gender where we accept that a person is able to change from one gender to another in order to continue to live.

 

Figures obtained under the Freedom of Information Act reveal increases in the number of referrals to all of the UK’s 14 gender identity clinics (GICs) in recent years, with a number of clinics experiencing increases of several hundred percent.

 

At Charing Cross in London, the oldest and largest adult clinic, the number of referrals has almost quadrupled in 10 years, from 498 in 2006-07 to 1,892 in 2015-16.

 

A clinic in Nottingham reported a 28-fold increase in referrals in eight years, from 30 in 2008 to 850 in 2015. It expected this to increase to more than 1,000 referrals during 2016.

 

The Laurels clinic in Exeter has seen a 20-fold increase in referrals in a decade, from 31 in 2005-06 to 636 in 2015-16.

 

Referrals to Sheffield’s clinic went up from eight in 1998 to 301 in 2015.

 

At a GIC in Leeds, referrals tripled from 131 in 2009-10 to 414 in 2015-16. The increase put such a strain on the service that last October it estimated that new patients would have to wait four years for their first appointment.

 

While the clinic in Daventry, Northamptonshire, which I attend, has had a five-fold increase in the past year alone, up from 88 referrals in 2014-15 to 466 in 2015-16. The latest figures released by the trust shows that most people attending their first appointment with the clinic this month had their referral accepted over 40 weeks earlier.

 

My only hope is that the government doesn’t put the squeeze on the funding that covers the gender clinics as suicide rates in the Transgender community is already way to high and cutting the funding for clinics, medication and surgery will leave people feeling all is lost and suicide an answer to their sufferings, which we know it isn’t. 

 

Leaving the EU and triggering article 50 may have an impact on the lives of transgender people living in the UK, It’s down to the UK government to raise the bar on Equality and set an example for the rest of Europe to look up to and to follow. 

 

 

 

Happy Christmas 2016

Well for the first time since I don't know when I'm happy... well I should say since coming out as transgender I have never been so happy and feeling complete as I do nowadays. I sleep better at night; I am told I smile more than before and I’m not as grumpy to be around as I was.

It’s quite complex being transgender and taking the necessary hormones to transition does affect you in many ways some good some not too good. My blood pressure went through the roof as they say so I now have to take meds to control it. This is a side-effect of the hormones I take every day, I have a dislike of needles so getting my 3 month jab of Prostrap 3 (leuprorelin acetate) takes me a day or so to get ready for it. Its something I have suffered with all my life and despite being told it will become second nature and it will be nothing to worry about I still nearly faint/ pass out every time.

Christmas is just around the corner and the shops are full of shoppers spending and spending on items to make them and others happy on the big day, they can never match the happiness I feel every morning knowing I am doing something positive and life changing.

My laser hair removal has sort of worked but on my face its less than I had hoped for with quite a few hairs continuing to be a visible reminder each morning. the process has worked better on less visible areas like my chest and back. I guess it will have to be electrolysis hair removal for the rest, I hear it's much more painful than the laser, but needs must, there is a useful web page http://www.electrolysis.co.uk/faqs/  if any body need further information on the process etc.

I have an upcoming appointment at my GIC so I will see what's next on the long list of boxes that need ticking... fast it is not, easy it is not, and cheap it is not.. but worth it yes.

I suffered my first hate crime by two "dick heads" shouting abuse at me in a shop, I avoided raising to the abuse and simply went on line the next day when I had calmed down and reported it. I was thinking of reasons why I should report it as in the past I would have stood my ground and had a fight. 
But hate crimes and incidents hurt; they can be confusing and very frightening. By reporting them when they happen to you, you may be able to prevent these incidents from happening to someone else. 
You also help the local police understand the extent of the hate crime in your local area so they can better respond to it.
Reporting makes a difference, to you your friends and your life.

A transphobic hate crime is:

“Any criminal offence which is perceived, by the victim or any other person, to be motivated by a hostility or prejudice against a person who is transgender or perceived to be transgender.”

Head over to http://report-it.org.uk/home and check out the website. 
a quick link to the reporting page is here http://www.report-it.org.uk/your_police_force

I expected some harassment in a small working class town in the North of England. However I'm still happy and on course despite the two low life's, who had a pop at me. I have the UK law The Criminal Justice Act 2003 section 146 to help in putting these people away for their actions.

Being transgender is hard…

 

Well it comes as no surprise that transgender individuals in general experience a kind of stress that cisgender (those who identify with the gender they were assigned at birth) individuals do not, we have a lot going on.

People who identify as transwoman/transman can and often do experience stigma, discrimination, violence, and various degrees of transphobia. People who are transgender also are at higher risks for “loss pileups.” (I just love that word loss pileups) Family, friends, and even romantic partners may not understand the transition and not be able to provide love or the much the needed support. There is also a danger of job loss or financial loss, especially for transgender women. Some researchers believe this discrepancy is related to the greater difficulty transgender women have passing, as opposed to transgender men, as well as greater male privilege for transgender men. Being unemployed is not easy for anybody but just for being who you really are sucks…

There are many ways of dealing with the challenges that come with transitioning and living as a transgender individual, some are healthier than others.

So how do you deal with it I hear you say?

I think there are two basic coping styles that people use to deal with difficult things in life: Emotion-focused and problem-focused, also known as facilitative and avoidant, as my academic friends at the University tell me.

To put it in layman terms.

Avoidant coping is when you simply avoid the problem. It occurs when you avoid dealing with the emotions and thoughts that come up when you experience discrimination or loss by:

•Minimizing the issue: “I’m sure he/she/they didn’t mean it.”

•Becoming emotionally detached: “Whatever… I don’t care... So long as you’re happy”

•Over-intellectualizing: posting to friends on Facebook or similar, how the socially constructed discourse of gender and the rigid constructions of gender stereotypes are contributing to an unfriendly work environment and not adding, “It really hurt that my boss passed me over for a promotion after I started the transition from male to female.”

•Using food, drugs, or alcohol to dull your emotions or thoughts

•Isolating yourself from social interactions.

 

Paradoxically, the more you try to avoid a problem, feeling, or thought, the bigger and more anxiety-provoking it becomes your just feeding the monster..

So after much thinking and research how do you develop better coping skills with all of this stuff?

As you may of already guessed, Facilitative coping is the style use the most and I recommend. Facilitative coping is all about adaptation. It is taking whatever we are given in life and transforming ourselves or the situation to deal with it in a positive manner. The glass is half full and not half empty way of thinking is a common way of expressing this method of coping

Some ways to develop facilitative coping include:

Seeking Social and Professional Support

Seeking out social and professional support is the number one factor in decreasing anxiety and depression in transgender individuals. Discovering friends and family that are supportive of your transition, locating a local (or virtual if you live in a rural area) support group, and finding a transgender-affirmative therapist can make a massive positive impact on your experience.

Self-efficacy

As cliché as it sounds, believe in yourself! Early in the transition process, many transgender individuals experience a sense of hopelessness about the future, believing that transitioning is an impossible, daunting task. As people move further along in the transition process, these feelings begin to change as they realize they do, in fact, have the power to follow through with their transition.

Reframing

Reframing is looking at your situation in a new light. For example, reframing the difficulty one experiences while transitioning as a source of personal strength and resilience.

Acting “As if”

No one feels confident all the time. However, if you walk out the door with a smile on your face, putting out the confident air that you don’t necessarily feel in the moment, your emotions will often eventually catch up with your actions.

Learning a new skill or hobby (or reviving interest in an old one)

Cognitively challenging yourself by learning, a new skill, such as a language or instrument, has been shown to decrease anxiety and depression. Additionally, it provides an opportunity to expand your social network and find a new passion. In the same way, reviving an interest in an old hobby can be immensely fulfilling.

Education and Advocacy is the best way.

I think many transgender individuals find great joy and meaning in doing education and advocacy work for the transgender community. I know I do but I was a high school teacher for a few years so I find it easy some may not… When someone is further along in the transition process they might find a new source of meaning in helping someone new to the process, talking through the initial anxiety him or her may be facing, and offer them hope for the future based on personal experiences and of course in my case the knowledge that comes with age.

To be very honest, which is what my blog is all about.

Being transgender is hard and I knew it would be a hard thing to do especially at this stage in my life. it’s had at any time in a person’s life.  I can’t deny I had a great life “acting” as a male I guess I had everything a person wants in life and guess what… I threw it all into the air not knowing what I would be left with, being transgender is hard.

Hard on the person and hard on family and friends, some will rally round and some will walk away, to be honest I am ok with that decision if they choose to walk away it’s their problem not mine. Those who stay with you on this journey of change are worth their weight in gold as the saying goes. Therefore, in reflection from this point looking back it was the best decision I ever made to get to the point of finally coming out as me. Like me or hate me for it I’m just me.

 

Transgender Day of Visibility



Transgender day of Visibility is normally shortened to TDOV when it is written down so if you see TDOV you will know what it is standing for.

 

TDOV is a day to show your support for the transgender community.

The general aim is to bring attention to the accomplishments of transgender people around the globe while fighting cissexism and transphobia by spreading knowledge of the transgender community. Unlike Transgender Day of Remembrance, this is not a day for mourning: this is a day of empowerment. Therefore, I hear readers saying when is the day well it’s on March 31st every year!

You can find it all over the place there are Facebook posts about it and look out for the hashtag #tdov on social media.

This year’s theme is more than visibility (#MoreThanVisibility) this recognizes that while visibility is important, we must take direct action against transphobia around the world.

Visibility is not enough alone to bring transgender liberation. Some people experience violence due to their visibility and some others do not want to be visible. However, we can use visibility as a vital tool for transgender justice.

So on the 31^st  March, please discuss and talk about transgender on your social media posts and join in if there is any activity happening in your area, Transgender people are normal people just like your brother or sister, Mom or Dad they are not monsters or strange just people who need love like everybody else.

 

P.S.

I love hugs… so if you see me give me a big hug it will make my day for sure…