Transgender music to listen to.

Terrorvision is a band from the Bradford area of West Yorkshire in Great Britain.


Terrovision released this single in 1998, singing about Josephine, who they first knew as Joe. She was always a good friend (“when friends were hard to find”), and, thankfully, her transition was a non-issue. “So we talked all night/And I just can't pretend/Although I lost old Joe/I got a new girlfriend.”

Terrorvision - “Josephine”

Another artist is singer Alison Goldfrapp details the dream world young Annabel lives in, where she can only imagine being herself when she closes her eyes. “When you dream you only dream you’re Annabel/Sleep reminds you takes you there, oh Annabel,” Goldfrapp coos, ending with “Only a boy under that.” The 2013 music video offers a literal interpretation, including a young trans girl blissfully twirling in pearls and a sequin dress.

Bad Suns - “Salt”

The pop-punk band’s 2014 single “Salt” was inspired by a friend of theirs who was struggling with their gender identity. “Stuck inside of the wrong frame/I don't feel attached to this name,” frontman Christo Bowman sings. “My body, I must reclaim/With different eyes and no shame.” The music video, a gorgeously choreographed but dark component from director Daniel Campos, starred dancer Tamara Levinson as she dealt with the traumas of depression, suicidal thoughts, and sexual assault before ultimately deciding to have gender reassignment surgery.

Jillette Johnson - “Cameron"

Another song about a young gender-non-conforming person who isn’t accepted by their family or society, “Cameron” is one of Jillette Johnson’s most beloved songs -- which might be because it’s directly inspired by a real life Cameron she knew and loved. The soulful singer repeats, over and over, that Cameron isn’t the alien the world thinks they are -- “Cameron, you're a star/A light where there is dark/And you're a hundred times a woman/A hundred times the man that they are.”

Is the UK a safe place to be Transgender in 2018?

I know from some recent Stonewall research just how bad things are, if you are trying to get on with your life as a transgender person in Britain today. 

It is known that in the last twelve months, two in five trans people have experienced a hate crime or incident. I know because I was one of the statistics of an unsolved hate crime against me, while simply doing my weekly shopping in the town where I live.

Every day in the UK, transgender people continue to be mocked, excluded, bullied and attacked, simply for existing. I have personally tried with all my heart to make a successful transition, but at the moment I have real doubts on it being successful and I am now even considering de-transitioning on the grounds of my safety. (More on that in a future blog)

Now, other countries are openly agreeing that Britain is in fact an unsafe place for transgender people. How can that be? We were leading the world at one stage on transgender recognition and rights. But the other year, a tribunal in New Zealand granted asylum to a transgender woman from Britain on the basis that her life would be in danger if she returned to the UK.

This should by all rights be considered a national embarrassment, that this is where the UK is on it’s LGBT rights and acceptance.We simply cannot continue to call ourselves a world-leader in LGBT-inclusion, nor a beacon of equality for diverse communities.

It sadly appears that many of our mainstream media from newspaper articles to general social media all seem to have gone to the Donald Trump school of non common-sense.  I think they have in fact even stepped up a gear, over recent months in their attempts to make all the vile transphobia acceptable, even questioning the right of transgender people to even exist in their world.

We must make sure that this isn't something that is ever going to be open for debate, as doing so is giving the go ahead to these messages, that has a very real and devastating real-world consequences for transgender people who just want to live their lives.

Many trans people feel unable to be themselves because of this treatment, whether at work, using public transport or even just shopping for groceries.

Its sad new to hear that the woman recently granted asylum in New Zealand told the courts that she would have to wait until late night to shop for her essentials in Britain. I know we have started to do the similar I don’t thing of going shopping until 8:30pm  or 9pm on a quiet Monday evening. The woman did this so she would be around as few people as possible, because she felt too afraid and unsafe to be herself in public, which is how, I feel nowadays in the UK.

It appears that transphobia in Britain filters down into our children in the UK schools too.We have research that shows almost half of under 18 year old transgender people have attempted suicide, yet in the schools just two in five of the teachers condemn transphobic bullying which is very sad news.

I have read that towards the end of 2017, the government is planning to have a public consultation on reforming the Gender Recognition Act, which if done correctly has the potential to transform the current very invasive and bureaucratic system that governs how transgender people get legal recognition of their new gender. 

As a nation we cannot allow Britain to continue to be an unsafe place for transgender people its currently a unwelcoming and frightening place for transgender people to live work or play. The situation we are in today is totally shameful and avoidable. I only hope the up coming changes to the Gender Recognition Act will be a catalyst for a total change in the publics attitude to transgender people in the UK

Transgender Depression

Being out as a Transgender person is not an easy decision to make we all know that don't we some have a very difficult time others just appear to cope or do they? 

As a transgender person we face prejudice, insults and hate crime nearly every time we open the front door and venture out into the world around us. It's not surprising so many Transgender people are seen to suffer depression and mental health issues, if the general public had to live under the daily stress we have to function under they would suffer similar feelings 

Also not everyone is able or wants to transition…

This is a perfectly valid choice for people to make.  However these individuals must learn to cope with the tension that the gender dysphoria produces.  Sometimes this can be helped by having times when one can cross-dress, interact with others who are aware of one’s status, talk about the issue, and take low-levels of hormones (that don’t effect the body outwardly).

Other mental health issues not related to being transgender. Just because someone is transgender doesn’t mean they don’t have other issues in their lives.  It can be hard for some people to let themselves seek treatment for other issues when the gender dysphoria is so prominent a concern.

After two plus years of being finally me, I succumbed to the dreaded depression I had read so much about, my mental health was at a all time low. I became basically house bound and actively avoided going out with my partner (wife) to the shops or out socialising, so I knew I needed some medical help.

My normal gender friendly doctor at my surgery has left to practice overseas in Australia so there's no chance in moving surgery or country come to think of it, so I just booked in with the first available doctor at the surgery, by good luck or fate the doctor is Trans aware, and has other patients who are transgender. She immediately checked my past blood tests and just spoke to me on how I was feeling, which was the opening for me to discuss how I was feeling and what state I felt I was in. She listened and researched possible medication suitable for me.

The Doctor explained how long the medication would take to start to make a difference to my mood and feelings and she was spot on. Two months on I'm feeling much better and I have started to live again and regularly go out and about shopping and enjoying my time. I have recently been for interviews for different jobs and facing the world, after my old employer decided to close the place I worked at and concentrate on their main site. Sometimes you need that kick in the pants to refocus and start doing something different, it is that time for me.

Mental health is no secret and should be talked about openly, we all have periods in out lives that come under the mental health banner there is no shame in asking for medical help. In just a short period of time you can go from a depressed state to your old self, enjoying life and all it has to offer.

So if your reading this and feel depressed about your gender then please seek help and advice.

In the UK you can contact any of the links below to talk to someone.

Click here for Transgender support-organisations and here gender-identity-support-UK

There is also uktransinfo on facebook
www.facebook.com/groups/uktransinfo  
Email: info@uktrans.info

General support

Samaritans

Call 116 123 

Email jo@samaritans.org

Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) - for men

Call 0800 58 58 58 – 5pm to midnight every day 

Visit the webchat page

Papyrus – for people under 35 

Call 0800 068 41 41 – Monday to Friday 10am to 10pm, weekends 2pm to 10pm, bank holidays 2pm to 5pm 

Text 07786 209697 

Email pat@papyrus-uk.org

laser hair removal update.

The laser hair removal was... well lacking would be the best word, it retarded the hair growth of the dark hairs but it failed to kill all of them off. So here I am looking in the mirror seeing the same old stubble every morning it's so unfair, but that's life.


My next move is to go for electrolysis which by all accounts hurts like heck and costs a bucket load of cash, The NHS England's list of approved electrolysis technicians and salons appears to sparse on the ground in my area, plenty in the larger cities and even some large towns but for me I will have to travel to get beard removal by this method.


My understanding of the process is an electric current is applied using a very fine needle-shaped electrode or metal probe into each hair follicle with the mission to destroy the hair's root.

It all sounds easily enough but hair grows in different stages: growing, resting and shedding. Because all of the hair isn't on the same stage at any given time, multiple sessions are needed to get to the hair removed stage. So in theory each 1" of skin area may or may not need 3 treatments to give you a smooth as a baby's bottom face. now to me that's expensive on the pocket and second sound like a lot of pain spread over quite a while. (If anybody reading this has gone through this treatment please leave me a comment in the section below and let me know how it is going or how good it is at removing face hair.)

Well I have now been to a specialist electrolysis hair removing clinic, and I can confirm it was painful without the anaesthetic cream, so when I book in to have the treatment I will have applied the anaesthetic cream in advance. I'm currently waiting for a NHS England white paper looking at the time that is currently funded by the NHS for electrolysis treatment before I commit to starting the beard removal as in the past is not applied to past persons, so you can lose out on the newer number of treatments the NHS will fund.

I remember reading about a transfemale saying to get the beard stubble started first and after living in role for over 2 years, I can now see what she was getting at. So I recommend anyone reading this blog, to look at beard removal early on as razor burn on your neck is a dead give away every day.

As soon as I start electrolysis treatment I will post updates to this page.

Manchester Sparkle

 

 

 

 



I have just bought this wonderful summer dress to wear to Manchester Sparkle in early July this year (2017) Weather permitting that is. Since the horrendous attack on the Manchester Arena this week (22nd May 2017) I'm more determined to attend the Sparkle event than ever before.


Manchester is a fantastic city with some great places to visit and see, the Manchester people are strong and always pull together when facing adversary of any kind. This terror attack will be handled in the same way that Mancunians have done so for years. This is not the first explosion to rock the great city. “We won’t take defeat and we don’t want your pity” is a phase you will see in the UK press and on the internet and its just about sums up this proud united city.
Tony Walsh a self-styled Longfella recited an ode at the recent vigil gathering in the cities centre. thousands were in attendance.

"We keep fighting back with Greater Manchester spirit
Northern grit, northern wit, and Greater Manchester’s lyrics
And these hard times again, in these streets of our city
But we won’t take defeat and we don’t want your pity."

 

Everyone at the vigil gathering roared their approval, and there was prolonged, heartfelt applause as he finished the ode. His words have now gone viral across social media around the world, capturing a moment that summed up the mood that evening.

The city is open for business and the Transgender Sparkle event is just one event in the city that will continue to happen in and around Manchester regardless of terror attacks or any threats. Sparkle will once again take place in Sackville Gardens, Manchester in 2017 as follows:

• Sparkle Fringe        1st to 7th July 2017
• Sparkle Weekend   7th to 9th July 2017

 

The Sparkle event is open to all to attend you don't have to be LGBT just human (I think and that's flexible by the sounds of things :-))  So get your party pants on and get down or up to Sparkle Manchester 2017 it's going to be great, and even greater if more than last year turn out to support Transgender people.

 

 

Fat Sick and Overweight.

I am currently changing my diet and lifestyle to a healthy one...a plant-based diet avoiding processed foods meat and dairy.

I like many watched Joe Cross in his personal mission to find a cure to an illness he had and he turned to a juice diet and plant based foods to try to cure himself. The movie is on Netflix and is called Fat Sick and Nearly Dead its worth watching and may give you the inspiration to change your diet and think about what you are eating and is it making you sick?

I know the diet I was on and my lifestyle wasn't doing me any favours, it wasn't bad as such, but unhealthy quite a lot of the time and I knew before watching Joe’s movie I needed to change,

To date I have lost over 26lbs and the weight is still reducing, like any “diet" if you revert back to old eating habits and portion size you will gain weight so I know I need to change my lifestyle as well then my new eating habits will be reinforced and my weight is more likely to stay off.

I am hoping my Ulcerated Colitis will disappear from its current state or reduce to a level that is acceptable and my M.E. reverses somewhat. A big ask I know but I do not have much choice in the matter. Any transgender person is at the mercy of the surgeon if they are Male to Female, as they use a weight to body mass index scale to see if you can have any lower surgery called the BMI.

The gatekeepers of the NHS in England are very strict and will happily leave a person waiting if their BMI is too high. I do not think transgender M2F patients really put much in to their weight loss when they first start on the pathway I know I did not. Thinking back to over two years ago, when I did initially start at the gender clinic my main thought was to get the medication I needed,  I should have addressed my diet then and that way it wouldn’t be at my foremost thoughts now.

As my next appointment at the gender clinic looms. I know the consultant will weigh me and see what kilograms the scales display, the last time he said “let’s see what the hormones have done to you”  so not wanting to hear that again, and trying to lower my BMI has been my secondary driving force to change my diet and lifestyle.

Therefore, when I read that 43 million Americans are on a diet at any given time, and the reality is that most of these people –anywhere from 65% to 98%, (depending on the research source) – will regain the weight they lose within 12 months of losing it and that worries me. So a total change from 2017 onwards is required of me, at diet and lifestyle change and one that I can live with.

The UK’s BBQ season is under way so I have to think of dishes that can be cooked outside on the BBQ, that fulfil my diet of plant based foods. The medium done double steak burger with cheese and bacon will not be made as they smell just too good and be swapped for a bean burger of some kind, and roasted vegetables with sweet potato fries.

I know I will have slip up and “fall off the wagon” as most people do, even Joe Cross found it is difficult to keep his weight off all the time, and you know that’s okay. I know I will have bad days and good days. Getting back on the wagon is just a part of the weight loss and lifestyle change I need to make.

I used Joe’s movie as the extra motivation and inspiration to change what I was eating and what I did, it’s a guide not a rule and like anything in life if it’s worth doing you might as well do it well. I have always tried to live my life according to a few basic rules or principals most of which comes from my parents including being honest with yourself and others, as it normally comes back to you in the end… so it saves a lot of heart ache and time if you upfront as my dear father would say…

Being Transgender is not easy and staying positive while you wait for Gender clinic appointments and surgery is not easy, in fact it's really hard at times.  Having personal goals you wish to achieve is the way to proceed in my view every step I take brings me closer to my goals and wishes. I'm lucky in that I have a close family bond, good friends and work mates who help and support me. I know some don't have this back up and I'm grateful for everyone's support.

Ulcerated Colitis

 

Just when you think you have a handle on all that life can throw you, I found out I have severe Ulcerated Colitis. 

If like me you didn't know anything about the condition you could be missing the bigger picture I certainly was, having ME you generally suffer with IBS at some point, I mistook my IBD for IBS.

Now the initials sound similar but the medical condition is in my view much worst.

Inflamed Bowel Disease is a disabling condition and limits what a person can do, as they need to be able to "get the seat down" in seconds when out and about it’s a case of going going gone...

I could write a very personal blog on the toilet habits of a UC sufferer but I would only be repeating what thousands of sufferers will tell you, instead I will guide you to the best source of information I could find in the UK below is a bit from a this most excellent source of information on the subject.

(https://www.crohnsandcolitis.org.uk/)

“Crohn's Disease and Ulcerative Colitis are the two main forms of Inflammatory Bowel Disease, affecting more than 300,000 people in the UK.

Yet it is largely a hidden disease, and one that causes stigma, fear and isolation – it’s thought that many people with the condition go undiagnosed and suffer in silence. It doesn’t have to be like this.

What is Ulcerative Colitis?

Ulcerative Colitis is a condition that causes inflammation and ulceration of the inner lining of the rectum and colon (the large bowel). In UC, tiny ulcers develop on the surface of the lining and these may bleed and produce pus.

The inflammation usually begins in the rectum and lower colon, but it may affect the entire colon. If UC only affects the rectum, it is called proctitis, while if it affects the whole colon it may be called total colitis or pancolitis.

It’s one of the two main forms of Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD). The other is Crohn’s Disease.

Ulcerative Colitis is a chronic condition. This means that it is ongoing and life-long, although you may have periods of good health (remission), as well as times when symptoms are more active (relapses or flare-ups).

What are the symptoms?

Ulcerative Colitis is a very individual condition and its symptoms will vary from person to person. They range from mild to severe and may also change over time.

Some people remain well for a long time, while others have frequent flare-ups. However, the most common symptoms are:

• Diarrhoea
• Cramping pains in the abdomen
• Tiredness and fatigue
• Feeling generally unwell or feverish
• Loss of appetite and weight loss
• Anaemia (a reduced level of red blood cells).

Find out more about the symptoms of Ulcerative Colitis

Who gets Ulcerative Colitis?

It’s estimated that UC affects about one in every 420 people in the UK (roughly 146,000 people).

UC is more common in urban areas and in northern developed countries, although we’re starting to see an increase in numbers in developing nations, too.

UC is also more common in white people of European descent, especially those descended from Ashkenazi Jews (those who lived in Eastern Europe and Russia).

It can start at any age, though it often appears for the first time between the ages of 15 and 25. It affects men and women equally.

UC tends to develop more frequently in non-smokers and ex-smokers than in smokers – but health professionals strongly advise against smoking as a way of treating Ulcerative Colitis.  See Smoking and IBD for more information.

Our Ambassadors embody the wide range of people who get Crohn’s Disease. Read their stories.

What are the causes & is there a cure?

Although there has been a lot of research, we still don’t really know what causes Ulcerative Colitis.  However, advances have been made in recent years, particularly in genetics and we now believe that UC is caused by a combination of factors:

- the genes you’re born with
- plus an abnormal reaction of the digestive system to bacteria in the intestine
- along with an unknown 'trigger' that could include viruses, other bacteria, diet, stress, or something else in the environment.

There isn't a cure at the moment but a lot can be done with medication and surgery to help keep symptoms under control.

Read about the research we’re funding into the causes and treatment of Ulcerative Colitis 

What treatments are there for Ulcerative Colitis?

Ulcerative Colitis can often be managed by medication (drug treatment), but surgery can be necessary if symptoms are very bad.

Your treatment will depend on the type and severity of your UC and the choices you make with your doctor.

Find out what treatments are available for Ulcerative Colitis.

Can Ulcerative Colitis have complications?

More than a third of people with UC develop other conditions outside of the digestive system, mainly affecting the joints, eyes and skin.

Inflammation of the joints (arthritis) affects about one out of 10 people with UC. Some people with UC also develop ankylosing spondylitis, a condition in which the joints in the spine and pelvis become inflamed and stiff. Drugs and physiotherapy are used to treat these symptoms.

A variety of other health conditions can be associated with UC, including:

• skin problems, such as mouth ulcers, blisters and ulcers on the skin, and painful red swellings, usually on the legs
• inflammation of the eyes
• thinner and weaker bones
• liver inflammation
• blood clots (including deep vein thrombosis)
• anaemia.

It’s important to stress that Ulcerative Colitis is not a form of cancer. However, if you have had extensive or total colitis (pancolitis) for many years, you have a greater risk than normal of developing cancer in the colon or rectum. For more information about this, see our information sheet Bowel Cancer and IBD

Find out more about complications by downloading our Ulcerative Colitis booklet

What are the challenges of living with the condition?

Living with a chronic condition like Ulcerative Colitis  can have both an emotional and practical impact on your life.  There may be times when you have to make adjustments and take time to recuperate, for example, if you are having a flare-up.  On the other hand, when you are well you may be able to live life to the full. 

Most obviously, you are likely to see your GP and perhaps also your hospital IBD team quite regularly. It’s good to build up a good relationship with them, as that can make seeking and receiving treatment a less stressful process.  See our booklet My Crohn’s and Colitis Care for more information about to work with your IBD team to get the best out of your care.

Flare-ups can be disruptive to relationships and work – sometimes you may need to cancel engagements and take time off when you are feeling unwell.   It can be very helpful if you feel you can open up about your condition to those around you – your family, friends, work colleagues and employers.  Telling particularly family and friends at least something about your illness may make them feel reassured and more able to give you the support you need.

Diet is considered a factor in the appearance and severity of symptoms by many people with Ulcerative Colitis – although research has not produced clear answers on whether diet plays a role in UC.

Generally, the most important thing is to eat a nutritious and balanced diet to maintain your weight and strength, and to drink sufficient fluids to stop you getting dehydrated. 

However, you may find during flare-ups that certain foods affect your symptoms.  Bland, soft foods may cause less discomfort than raw vegetables, spicy and high-fibre foods .

Most women with Ulcerative Colitis can expect a normal pregnancy and a healthy baby. Also, for most women, having a baby does not make their UC worse. But if you do become pregnant during a flare-up, you may be more likely to give birth early or have a baby with a low birth weight. Your doctor should be able to help you to control your symptoms as much as possible, and it may be helpful to discuss your options with them if you are thinking of having a baby.

Around a quarter of people are children or adolescents when they are diagnosed with IBD, and symptoms in young people often appear around the age of 12. Ulcerative Colitis in children tends to be more extensive in children than adults, and consequently more severe.

Download our free information sheet on Staying well with IBD

- See more at: https://www.crohnsandcolitis.org.uk/about-inflammatory-bowel-disease/ulcerative-colitis#sthash.qaiqa8jG.dpuf

Hopefully, upon reading this blog page you will have a better understanding of Ulcerative Colitis and I would like to thank chronsandcolitis.org for the information they gave me on their web site when I was first diagnosed in a NHS hospital in my home town.

So why have I chosen to blog about my UC on my Transgender blog site well there is a link.

Taking female hormones as transgender male to female as you have to do, in order to alter loads of incorrect things with your body, the hormones has the effect of increasing the risk for ulcerative colitis (UC), but not Crohn's disease (CD), according to my consultant at the gender clinic I attend. He sees many transgender M2F people discovering they now have UC. It’s not a show stopper as such on the transition side, and lower surgery can still go ahead in most cases but it needs to be under control and not in flair up mode for obvious reasons.

A transgender person’s BMI is taken into account so being on or below your BMI is a good thing as far as lower surgery is concerned so if like me you have UC just watch your diet as my weight yoyos between flair ups quite a bit.

When I have a flair up I tend to reduce my insoluble fibre intake and make more healthy 80% veg 20% fruit juice as meal replacements I live on a modified vegan diet or a heavily modified paleo type of diet, as it reduces my “seat down time” spent going the loo.